Broken, I come to You...

These past couple days have been extremely happy days! I am so excited to be sharing my experience.

Before I tell you my happy days, I want to say that I am a person that holds in feelings and emotions. I have learned to numb those emotions to where I, sometimes do not feel regular feelings. (happy, sad, terrified, and etc)

Monday was my UT orientation. Emily and I drove up from our summer project to Austin around 6am, early I know. =) When we got there, we both begin to see old faces. It was so refreshing to see them. I saw friends from middle school, high school, and UTSA. Even crazier was that I got to meet so many new friends throughout the campus, and I am praying that I will see all of them again. I won't keep going with the details, but I will say that it was a day filled with joy and sweat. Later that night, on the way back Emily and I visited Alex Lee at his restaurant. We got to hang out for a bit and just seeing how Alex was doing. He was growing and doing a great job keeping other guys accountable. After we left there, on the drive back to San Antonio, Emily said, "I am so glad to visit Alex, I am so happy right now." She went and talked with her lover Alice, but I was just thinking. All these years, the joy, laughter, tears, rough times, and good times all brought some type of emotion. But each time, I would feel like I would be pushing out each emotion I felt at the time. Randomly, in the car, I started to tear up. I tried to hold it in, but it wouldn't stop. I felt God moving my heart, reminding me of all my friends and family who constantly encourage me, love me, and challenge me. I felt genuine happiness since a long time ago.

At work today, I was reading over an encouraging email sent by my friend Sarah. It was a blog by John Piper. ( http://www.desiringgod.org/Blog/1890_the_loving_meaning_of_the_leftovers/) I did not get the whole meaning, so I asked Roderick for help. He was able to go through this with a vivid explanation. Roderick was describing how Jesus was testing his disciples before he fed the 5000. Andrew passed the test by bringing over the basket of fish and 5 loaves of bread. Andrew believed, unlike Phillip. When Roderick was explaining, I was brought again to tears. I was thinking to myself, "Wow, I am a cry baby." But I see why, God was at work, moving my heart once again. He was telling me, "Kevin, just believe, I am all you need."

Then later that night, after small group at Alamo Stone. All the guys went to the santuary to watch a skit. It was the Lifehouse skit - Everything. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cyheJ480LYA) It is an AMAZING skit, if you haven't seen it, WATCH IT! you will love it, but if you don't...umm I'll buy you ice cream, and we'll watch the video together. Anyways, I have seen this video three times, but this time I came closest to actually crying. I was reminded by God, moving my heart another time, saying, "I AM everything you need, Kevin." I felt a powerful tuck on my heart, knowing that He is with me, and how ridiculous I am for putting Him aside at times. I thought about the bad choices and wrong turns I have made in my life, passing by the perfect, loving, wanting a relationship with you God. How pathetic I am to looked away from Him and have such little faith to speak out in His name.

I have experienced God in the past two days, each time with a different reminder. I encourage you guys to keep your eyes on God and do your Non-Negotiables (your time with God.)

Feel free to give me a call, I would love to talk to you and tell you more about how God has been good to me this summer.

Please pray for my leadership and Sarah's as well as directors for the summer project, may we lead in confidence and making the team finishing well.

God is good,

-Kevin